Solitude Soldier No More

Imagine you are watching the movie Braveheart and it gets to that famous Battle of Stirling scene.  The Scottish were outnumbered 3 to 1 by the English army so already the odds were against them.  But they were fighting together; fighting for freedom.  

What would you think if you were watching that scene and William Wallace did nothing to stop the discouraged Scottish soldiers from leaving the battle? What if there was no famous "FREEDOM" speech, but instead William Wallace went alone to battle the English army in that scene?  Would you find William Wallace stupid? crazy? arrogant?  Would you turn it off?  Would you be curious as to why he felt like he needed to battle alone instead of recruiting to stay?  Who would ever make a movie like that?  Who would ever fight a battle like that alone?

Well today God opened my eyes to see that this ridiculous scene of battling alone has been me the past 9 years.  I have been battling for the freedom of souls lost to darkness and the freedom of souls in captivity to injustice but haven’t asked people to pray with me and for me.  I’ve been severely injured from this battle too and that’s probably why I hid in Montana for 2 years doubting everything I ever believed or experienced.  

This morning God revealed to me why I have been barely surviving in ministry since I began full time in 2010. The reason I say I am battling alone is because I haven't asked people to partner with me in prayer, the most powerful weapon I posses, to battle in places I cannot physically see.  I've asked people to join me in other ways but prayer should have been the first partnership I extended to those who wanted to come alongside me in this ministry because "PRAYER PRECEDES ANY MOVEMENT FROM GOD" (Guil).  My mentor Merrie says, "If I desire to see anything happen here in this natural realm I need to get it started in the spiritual realm first."

I’ve seen God do so much already so I can’t even imagine what He will do now that I‘m inviting people to join me in prayer.   When I’ve come together to pray with others I’ve seen God move in incredible ways, but then in my own life and personal ministry I’ve been wondering where my breakthrough is.  I’ve literally depleted everything to 0 and taped out every resource.

Reflecting back on this week I see how things were leading up to this moment. I had a friend ask me what she could do to help me and I was literally shocked.  No one has ever asked me that.  It took me 2 days to think of a way she could help me.  A few days before that, in a quiet time, God spoke these words, “If I am ever to be raised up it must be by the Hand of God.  God can do nothing for me until I get to the limit of my possible.”  I wondered what “my possible” looked like cause I felt like I had already passed that limit.  But now I see God was getting my attention to invite others to join me through prayer. 

All this time I have thought if people wanted to help they would ask.  But I realized that people do want to help.  When you don’t ask for help people just assume you got it all figured out and they don’t ask how they can help or how they can pray for you.  I hear all the time “Rachael you are so independent.” But I honestly don’t feel independent.  On the outside it looks like I am independent but people don't see the sorrow and desperation I am facing on the inside, desperately dependent to partner with people.  But not wanting to bother them to get a job done I just did what I had to do (how prideful).  I was just doing what I thought I needed to do to survive and help others but what I needed was a community of people coming alongside me, praying with me and for me.

So I implore you today, if you would like to partner with me in prayer, and become a regular champion of this fight for freedom, please send me a message and let me know.  It's a matter of me not only needing you but wanting you to champion this fight with me.  I’m not really sure how to go about this new partnership but I’m sure the Lord will lead and I welcome any ideas to communicate these prayer requests. 

Maybe you too find yourself in this same situation.  If this is you then I encourage you to reach out and ask for prayer.  You can even reach out to me.  Just please don’t battle alone anymore!