Saturday, June 27, 2015

Jehovah Jireh says, "Stop yo' Frettin' "

Lessons learned from my motorbike accident: Part 3

“Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening; it just stops you from enjoying the good.”

So before I left the States I got medical insurance for Thailand but I wasn’t planning on using it. I got a plan with a $1000 deductible even though I knew I wouldn’t have much money to pay that if something terrible really did happen! I selected that insurance plan thinking, I’m not going to need it but if I do, I’m sure God will provide.  One week after my medical insurance went into affect, something terrible did happen and that $1000 was “out the window” (along with the confidence I had in God’s provision when I selected the plan).

On the morning of Thursday, June 11, 2015 I was so concerned about my financial status that I pulled out a calculator to see what my new monthly budget would be since financial support is not coming in like I hoped it would.  I had budgeted myself for $500 a month through the end of this year and that $1000 I had to pay for my deductible was 2 months worth of budget bringing me down to $350 a month to live on.  The cheapest place I found to rent once I am healed would take up half of that. 
When I realized this I started getting really anxious and worried thinking “what am I going to do?” “How am I going to be able to afford anything?” Immediately God reminded me of my word for the year, TRUST.  He reminded me that He promises to take care of me.  He reminded me that I promised to trust Him this year so I needed to calm down, put the calculator away, and ask Him for help. So I did just that, I put the calculator away, thanked him for all the times he has provided, and asked Him for help and went on with the day.

Literally 2 hours later I was returning my motorbike (since I can’t drive it with a bum arm) and asked the owner about vehicle insurance coverage for my accident.  He took me to the insurance office and boom, I got the $1000 back like nothing!

            A week after that I had an unexpected $200 expense come up that I didn’t budget for.  I wasn’t really sure what to do. I wondered if I should ask my prayer supporters or should I just go to God about it.  Well, I decided to ask God about it and left it in His hands.  Two days later I had 2 friends bless me with $100 each.  Because of their obedience to the Lord’s leading upon their hearts, God provided for that need also!  Once again I was blown away by God’s promises!!!

Sometimes I am so slow to catch on.  Although Christ has brought me through some pretty INTENSE stuff in my past, I often forget that in moments of instability and an unclear future.  The bible says in Matthew 6 that God provides for the birds of the air and dresses the lilies of the field.  He promises to take care of my needs because I am of much more value than they. “Do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on.  Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?” 

Instead of worrying I should “seek first the kingdom of God.” Is my heart too closed to take in all that God can do for me? It is important to remember what Christ has done and have faith believing He will do it again in my greatest time of need. Even if he doesn’t do it the way I think it needs to be done in order to be successful, He is going to provide in some other way.  His ways are always better; always have been, and I just have to trust that.

If you would like to financially support me and my endeavor for Thailand please email me at for more details or click on my picture to the left of this blog. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

The Talent Test

Lessons learned from my motorbike accident: Part 2

In Matthew 25 there is a story titled “The Parable of the Talents.” There were three people who were each given a different amount of money or talents. Two of those people were proactive in how they used their talents and able to multiply them.  The Master’s reply to them was, “Well done, good and faithful slave.  You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.” One of them did nothing with what they were given, burying it in the ground. The Master called him “wicked” and “lazy” and told him that he could have at least invested in the bank to reap something.

How often do we receive blessings from the Lord or gifts from Him but we do nothing with it? Why? Sometimes we are not happy with our circumstances, situations or where God has placed us. We ask God to take us out of this and put us in a better place thinking our current environment isn’t beneficial for us.  Maybe we are striving to fulfill some hope or some dream and we think where we are isn’t going to get us there but we don’t know the bigger picture.

Sometimes I think fear also gets in the way.  We fail assignments not just because of laziness but also because of fear and lack of trust in our abilities with the gifts that God has given to us.  God gives us gifts according to our abilities and expects us to invest them wisely until He returns regardless of what they are or our circumstances. We are responsible to use well what God has given us.  The issue is not how much we have but how well we use what we have.

For me, a goal has been missions.  I’ve wanted to be a missionary since 1998 and began pursuing that dream in 2005. It took a long time, because I don’t think God could have trusted me back then.  I wasn’t ready; I wasn’t prepared.  Sometimes we just have to wait, and in the waiting God teaches us things that we can use for our future.  Sure I got to experience it here and there with short-term trips and training from school, but I wanted to be on the mission field “now”.  During those 10 years God was constantly reminding me to grow where I was planted, and little by little I could see my responsibility growing with each test. 

God rewards faithfulness because He is faithful.  I’m in Thailand not because of me but because of God.  He has fulfilled a dream of mine.  After years of preparation, longing, training, money spent, heartache, and tons of mistakes, God finally allowed me to go to a foreign country and share the Gospel.  It may not be exactly where I originally hoped to be, but it is a dream fulfilled. 

When I first arrived, I was finally living my dream.  Wouldn’t you know it? Four days after I arrived, I fractured my shoulder in six places and became basically unable to do anything for two months!  I thought, “God why!!? I’m finally here! I finally made it but I’m still waiting because there is very little I can do! I could be doing this in America where I have droves of people who could help me or entertain me, but instead I’m in a place where I know 5 people and not even that well really!  If I were in America, I wouldn’t have to worry about using a particular person too much.  I would also be more comfortable with a doctor and nurses I could communicate with well and I would have my nice, comfortable bed. Why on Earth did this happen?!!” 

I tried to remain positive, but around week three, depression and anger started to sink in because I allowed it.  I couldn’t exercise, couldn’t cook, couldn’t clean myself, couldn’t help anyone, and couldn’t dress myself.  I had to depend on people for everything like I was some sort of helpless toddler.  I was in pain day and night and couldn’t sleep comfortably.  The pain medicine and lack of constant human interaction was making me a little crazy and it was hard to think straight.  My only activities were my regular visits to the hospital and going to Language school two days a week.  I was miserable and I felt I was making everyone around me miserable as well. 

That’s when I read this scripture on the talents. I realized this was a test and I had a choice to make.  I could either choose to continue wallowing in self pity and become depressed (burying my talents into the ground) or I could choose to think positive, come up with a plan, and learn how to fly with a broken wing (investing in what I had been given.) 

I was reminded again that missions is everywhere: our house, street, neighborhood, school, and workplace. I started going for regular walks around my neighborhood (after all I needed the exercise for sanity’s sake.) I found a pool nearby and started hanging out there to get a little “vitamin sunshine” every day (on top of that it was fun watching kids and families interact with each other). 

As I began to do this regularly, people started to take notice and they started talking to me and asking me questions.  I was able to share with them about the accident and how God has been healing me.  I was able to share with them about the community of believers, friends and even strangers who have been praying for me and how they have encouraged me.  I have even started planning lunch dates with my classmates and talking with them about what God has been doing in my life and why I’m in Thailand.  While I haven’t had anyone want to become a Christian, I have been planting seeds, building relationships, and investing in the talents God has given to me.    

We must not make excuses to avoid doing what God calls us to do.  If God truly is our Master we must obey willingly, regardless of our circumstances.  Our time, abilities, and money aren’t ours in the first place. We are caretakers not owners. When we ignore, squander, or abuse what we have been given, we are rebellious. 

We can’t determine our circumstances but we can determine our attitude. If we have the right attitude we will make the best of our circumstances and can rise above our circumstances.  


Sunday, June 21, 2015

Unity in Diversity

Lessons learned from my motorbike accident: Part 1

For those of you who don’t know, I was in a motorbike accident around the end of May, four days after my arrival to Thailand.  I fractured my shoulder in 6 places.  The Doctor wanted to give me surgery but due to the severity of the fracture they decided to let it heal on its own for a couple weeks because they were afraid if they opened me up they might have to replace the entire shoulder.  After the 2 week trial they were pleased with how well I was healing on my own and decided not to go through with the surgery! Praise God!

Through this process there have been so many lessons I have learned.  I will separate these lessons into different blogs so not to overwhelm you.  Being unable to write has killed me this month and so I have a lot of voice notes to listen through as I prepare to write about the things I have learned.  This is the first of those lessons so here we go. (In case you are wondering, yes Jonathan and Jacob have been great but I won’t mention them here because they are going to have their own special blog :)

God has been teaching me about unity over the past several months in particularly the universal church.  I want the church to move beyond denominational barriers and just work together to bring the gospel message to this unsaved world. Sometimes that seems so impossible but with God all things are possible.  This incident was just another example of that lesson.  Many people have been praying for me! Hundreds of people, people I don’t know, people coming out of the blue telling me, “I’m praying for you.” “My family is praying for you.” “My church is praying for you.” I have been just so encouraged by that! Through this situation I have learned a lesson in humility, and a new definition of love, acceptance, and caring that I never really understood before.

There are these three girls that I met during my first week in Thailand who are friends with Jonathan and Jacob.  Their names are Jessica, Carra, and Wor.  They have been so great! They came to the hospital to visit me. Wor spent the night with me in the hospital and translated for me.  They brought me clothes that would fit over my head and arms easier. They helped me bathe, wash my hair, helped me get dressed.  They didn’t even know me.  They were just acquaintances at the time. I want you to really understand what I’m saying here!!  THEY DIDN’T KNOW ME AND YET THEY HELPED ME BATHE AND GET DRESSED!! Talk about a lesson in humility! Of course we are all women but we are strangers to one another! They didn’t even know me for a full week and they WILLINGLY offered to help me! Just think about that for a minute.  Would you do that for a stranger? These girls helping me the way they have just gives me a glimpse of what unity in the universal church can and should look like and it all starts with the power of love. 

These days we have given love a different meaning.  We throw the word around carelessly like it’s something we can buy and then trade when “something better” comes along. But it’s a word that shouldn’t be used carelessly.  Love is sacrifice. Love is found in humility. Love is acceptance.  Love is patient.  Love is kind.  Love is found in people that don’t even know you but help you carry your burdens and look for ways to encourage you during your difficult times.  Love is caring. Love is not boasting! These girls that helped me bathe and get ready are caring for me and they aren’t boasting about it, holding it over my head like I owe them, or making it seem like I’m an inconvenience.  They are doing it because the love of Christ is in them and they choose to share it. Love is sharing. Love is disregarding the things that don’t matter about people and helping someone become the potential that God has created them to be.  These girls have really shown me a truer definition of love.

I’m really grateful for what I’m learning.  It may be painful, inconvenient, frustrating, and depressing, but God is so good and I really thank Him that even through this difficult time and this trial He continues to show me things I need to learn.  I pray that I would be able to return the favor and wouldn’t take advantage of these people because love is not about taking advantage of people.  It’s not about using people yet that is what we have turned love into. 


God has shown me what is possible because of love.  I believe that unity is possible when we love one another. Recently, there has been a horrible hate crime that was committed at a church in Charleston, SC.  As heart breaking as this incident is, it is not nearly as heartbreaking as the hate and comparing of races I am seeing being thrown around on social media and well, the media in general!  The media is playing on our weakness and we are allowing for it to happen!  For over a year now I have watched the media influence a war between races and with each incident it grows even more hateful.  We as mankind should be influencing the media but instead we are allowing the media to influencing us!  We are imprisoned by their racial stereotypes! When we stop living them out things can and will change as a natural consequence!  It’s got to stop! We must forgive. We must love. Anyone can hate someone for the wrong they have done but it takes incredible strength to show love to a human being after they have done something so tragic.  “If we stop defining each other by what we are not, and start defining ourselves by who we are, we can all be freer.” ~Emma Watson

We are supposed to be the “United” States of America but instead we have become the “Racially Divided” States of America.  I have listened over and over again to Dr. King’s “I Have A Dream” speech and what is going on in America today is not what Dr. King had in mind! We have to stop comparing one another.  No race is superior to another! I am not really sure who decided white people would be the superior race and when that was decided but “newsflash” they aren’t so stop treating them in that way.  We are all the same and deserve to be treated as equal. We all bleed red blood when we are cut. We all suffer with heartbreak when someone hurts us.  We all feel lonely at times.  We all want to feel loved and belong. 

We should never forget our past because it helps us see how far we have come but we must stop living in our past! We need to stop perceiving race as two different sets of opposing ideals.  Let’s live in the freedom of the future and its possibilities, working to become the best dadgum loving, forgiving, and accepting people we can be!

You might be thinking, “Who is this white girl and what is she doing speaking about racism?” That’s a really good question and I must ask myself the same thing.  All I know is that I care about people.  I care about this problem.  I care about how it is hurting my country.  Having seen what I’ve seen, having experienced what I’ve experienced, having been the minority myself at certain times in my life, I feel like this is my chance, and my responsibility to say something.  “All that is needed for the forces of evil to triumph is for good men and women to do nothing.” ~Edmund Burke

Maybe you are feeling the same way.  Maybe you want to do something about it but you have similar doubts not knowing how, if you are qualified, or even when or where to start?  Well ask yourself this question.  If not me, who? If not now, when? The reality is that if we do nothing and let this continue we will end up destroying one another!

If you believe in equality then you believe in love, kindness, compassion, and forgiveness.  How hard is it to love?  How hard is it to choose kindness?  The Bible says, “A soft answer turns away wrath but harsh words stir up anger.”  “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion.  People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” ~Nelson Mandela

Let’s disregard the things that don’t matter about people and start helping one another fulfill their God given potential for greatness, whatever that may look like! Let’s stop living in the past and start looking towards a better and brighter tomorrow!  Unity is possible. Unity is a choice! What will you choose?  Unity or division? Love or hate? Forgiveness or bitterness?